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This isn’t The Onion


“After mumbling and making broad sweeping gestures across the entire image, he finally settled on what appeared to be a randomly selected point below the vagina near the anus.”

The committee and attending press erupted and had to be called back to order before a line of questioning further confirmed Senator Cruz’s inability to locate or identify the female clitoris.

When asked for commentary while exiting the subcommittee hall Senator Cruz responded defensively

“If you don’t think I know where the clit is you’re crazy. How could I have two kids if I didn’t know where the clitoris is? This whole thing was a stunt perpetuated by the liberal media and carried out by Democratic members of the subcommittee on Space, Science, and Competitiveness, U.S Senate Commerce Committee.”

Cruz did not respond to further questioning regarding the lack of the clitoris’s role in conception, fertilization and child birth.

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